A Day in the Life
by arwentheelf02
Summary: Follow the characters of LotR as they go through...a day in the life! OOC for humor reasons. Takes places at various points in the characters' lives. CHAPTER 3: LEGOLAS!
1. Frodo

A/n: Hello! I've revised and revived this fic! Yay! Yes, I DO realize that Middle-Earth doesn't go by our clock, but I want to give you a better idea of what's going on and when. So bear with me, ok? Thanks a lot. This one is about Frodo after the Quest is finished. (These are going to take place at various places in these peoples' lives.)

* * *

8:30 a.m.: Wake up. Yeah, yeah I know: it's late. But I need to get my beauty sleep, seeing that I'm emotionally scarred and all.

10:00 a.m.: Finish breakfast.

10:30 a.m.: Practice various disturbed faces in front of mirror. Looking good, if I do say so myself. Which, of course, I do.

10:31 a.m.: Damn, I should get an AWARD for these faces!

10:32 a.m.: NOBODY has a better pout than I do. NOBODY!

11:00 a.m.: Stare at fire, wondering about life.

11:15 a.m.: Stare outside, wondering about death.

1:00 p.m.: Finish lunch.

1:03 p.m.: Decide to write more in Bilbo's book.

1:25 p.m.: Tear around the house, ranting, as have bad case of the Dreaded Writerses Block. Did I say "Writerses"? Crud...

1:30 p.m.: Give up on book, and decide to bother Sam.

1:35 p.m.: Run back into house, breathing heavily and sweating profusely.

Well, now I know why Sam has so many kids...

Great, now I'm even more disturbed than I started out, if that's possible. (I didn't know you can bend like that...)

At least they didn't see me. I think. I hope.

3:00 p.m.: Finish afternoon tea.

4:00 p.m.: Stop writing in Bilbo's book, as have extreme case of cramped hands. Seeing Sam doing...that...has apparently killed Writer's Block. (Whew, no Writerses.)

5:00 p.m.: Stroke various pieces of jewelry for an hour. They're so...precious. Decide its time to go to Sam's place for dinner to distract self. Hope he and the missus are finished. Ahem.

7:30 p.m.: Finish dinner and go back to house. Am not quite sure, but thought I caught Sam sneaking odd glances at me. Disturbed level rose another agonizing notch.

9:00 p.m.: Finish supper. Decide that my cooking is inferior to Sam's. Then decide to ask him for lessons.

9:01 p.m.: Realize that am now too frightened to go near Sam's house.

9:30 p.m.: Asleep. Good night.


	2. King Elessar

A/n: Haha kind of ironic that I'm doing King Elessar's post today. Today in Health class we watched "28 Days", starring our very favorite king of Gondor, Viggo Mortensen. Anyway, R/R! I only got one comment...maybe I'm getting spoiled...

* * *

10:00 a.m.: Wake up, last. Did I REALLY sleep that late? Woah, I must have been SO drunk last night. Oops, Did I say that aloud?

Oh well. I'm king now; I can do whatever the hell I want!

10:15 a.m.: Arwen gives me backrub. I told her it would help my "hangover", but we know better than THAT, don't we?

10:45 a.m.: Finish breakfast, begin what I like to call "kingly" duties. Which is a grand word for listening to advisors complain.

11:00 a.m.: Blah blah military, blah blah economy, blah blah BLAH! Why are my advisors so boring? I'm so bored, I'm about to take Andúril for a test drive. On my advisors.

12:00 p.m.: Finish lunch.

2:00 p.m.: Don't these people see I'm not listening to them! They just like the sound of their own voices. I'm so lonely. I miss Frodo and Gimli and Legolas...

Well, I have Arwen to keep me company, if you know what I mean.

4:00 p.m.: Ugh. FINALLY! I'm FREE! I'M DONE! YAY! I CAN...get ready for...the...party...

Damn. I forgot Éomer's visiting tonight to see Éowyn and Faramir. Arwen just HAD to throw a party for the almighty god, Éomer. Normally I don't mind Arwen's extravaganzas, but Éomer hates me. Oh, sure, we act polite to each other, but he never forgave me for breaking his sister's heart. Jeez, I set her up with Faramir, what more does she want?

Jeez. Women. And Éomer.

Oh yeah. Same thing.

5:00 p.m.: Argh! HE DIDN'T ADDRESS ME AS KING ELESSAR; I'M NOT ARAGORN ANYMORE!

10:00 p.m.: Dinner was excruciating. I had my teeth clenched the whole time in a fake smile. Now my face hurts. Stupid Éomer. He thinks he's so cool because he has like a million horses. And a fortress. But THAT'S half-destroyed! HA!

Anyway, we were shooting subtle insults back and forth (using the fake smiles of course). It was somewhat ridiculous. Éomer would say something like, "How is Gondor's economy looking?" and smiling like an idiot. And I would say something like, "Better than your face," smiling like a similar idiot. Faramir gave me dirty looks the whole way. Ah, who cares? I pay his salary!

11:00 p.m.: Thought I'd be asleep by now, but the dinner just bugged me so much! Jeez, even after he's GONE Éomer bothers me!

When is Arwen coming to bed, anyway...?


	3. Legolas

A/n: Wow! Thank you all for your support! I am lucky to have such great readers.

Anywho, this is Leggy before the Quest.

* * *

7:00 a.m.: Wake up. One of the servants said that father wants to see me ASAP. What? I haven't gotten the chance to groom yet! He KNOWS I can't leave my room without grooming!

9:30 a.m.: Done grooming. Whew!

9:40 a.m.: Well THAT was fun. Not. Daddy said that I have to go to Rivendell, all because Elrond, that stuck-up git, wants to hold a meeting. I was so annoyed and distracted that I didn't hear what it was about. Meh, probably just one of his tiara conventions.

10:00 a.m.: On the road. I'm trying to convince myself that it'll be "fun", but it's useless. I REALLY don't want to go. Feh, Dad's probably trying to get rid of me so he can have some privacy with mother.

10:02 a.m.: Wait, who IS my mother, anyway?

11:00 a.m.: Have battled 5 giant spiders in the past hour, and greatly enjoying it. I SERIOUSLY need to get out more.

Either that, or find a girlfriend. But the last time I tried that, the Mirkwood palace was ransacked by screaming women. Heh.

11:12 a.m.: What's with these clothes hanging from the trees in the middle of nowhere? They look awfully feminine...

11:15 a.m.: OH CRAP! Ohcrapohcrapohcrapohcrap! THIS is what happens when you don't leave the palace for 500 years!

I forgot that these are the Paths of the Fangirls!

11:17 a.m.: Can this horse go any faster?

11:18 a.m.: Please?

11:20: Argh! Their screams and squeals are literally deafening! Stop stop stop!

1:45 p.m.: In Rivendell. Finally. I think the only girl for miles is Arwen. But with these people's hair, it's really hard to tell. Besides, she's into that mortal. I don't know what she sees in him. I mean, how can anybody resist this hair, this bod, this aim, this pure immortal and elfy aura?

I think the fangirls have gone to my head.

3:00 p.m.: At council. Apparently not a tiara convention. Have hidden mine in the bushes.

3:01 p.m.: What? I came all this way just to talk about a ring that a midget brought over here? Never knew Elrond was so into accessories besides tiaras.

3:03 p.m.: Why do we have to destroy it? It's quite a nice ring actually; plain gold goes with everything.

3:04 p.m.: What possessed me to stand up for Aragorn?

3:05 p.m.: Have asked elf to my right about this ring. Thought I heard him mutter "Mirkwood is doomed with him as prince," but a fly was buzzing in my ear.

3:05 and 30 seconds: Have asked elf to my left. Apparently this ring is evil. That explains a lot. Thoughts of Elrond's fetishism have fled.

Well, most anyway.

3:07 p.m.: Have joined The Fellowship of the Ring. Ha! That'll teach Daddy to send me on these ridiculous trips!

3:15 p.m.: I hired a messenger to give father the memo that I've joined. Was a little worried at his reaction, but realized that I'd be gone before I get his response. Yahoo!

5:20 p.m.: Was so excited about doing something without Daddy's permission that I got all ready (even did my hair in an extra special way!) but found out that we aren't leaving for a while. Aragorn wants to croon over his mother's grave (among other things, like a certain elf princess...)

Aragorn should count himself lucky...I don't even know who my mother IS!


End file.
